Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Reality Check

I just feel the need to give everyone a reality check.  I enjoy blogging, because I try to do mostly positive stuff as I journal about life.  Here in blogging world everything is just how I like it.  But in real life, Pat and I fight, the dishwasher breaks and you have to replace it when you can't afford to, the kids fight, I have way too little patience, I am constantly stressed about the visiting teaching that I never do, the missionary work that never works, I have way too much to do with my Young Women's calling and Girls Camp food, and despite my trying to eat well and exercise, my stomach is trying to separate itself from me, at least it's getting far out from the rest of my body, and I have way too little patience, have tons of anxiety, get jealous of other people, want to cuss, have tons of bad habits, I get disappointed in my family, I gossip about other people to Pat, I let my Heavenly Father down, I can be harsh, self-centered, wrong, and sometimes I feel really friendless, unneeded, ugly and stupid.  I'm not clever, not funny, and not beautiful.

My friend Julie told me this quote:  Be clever if you can, Be beautiful if you are, But no matter what, be cheerful even if it kills you. (Or something like that.)

I know I am very special, very needed, a daughter of a King, and I am of infinite worth, and my talents are different from yours, and on my own I am nothing, in fact I really suck.  But with God all things are possible.  I will try to be cheerful even if it kills me, and sometimes I believe it will.

Pat had to take his car in for a minor wiring issue, and found out (nearly $1000 dollars later) that he should have been dead his car was so bad.  I am so thankful he has been being watched over and that minor wiring issue I'm sure didn't happen by chance.

And I'm thankful he's helping me so much with the computer aspects of my calling.  I wouldn't be able to do much without him.  

Now I'm going to leave my perfect blogging world and go and do dishes until way past my bedtime, because, that, my lovely readers, is my reality check.  Godspeed the dishwasher.