Friday, June 22, 2012
One problem he said he saw with the prisoners is that they would make bad choices quickly after being released from prison and end up there again.
"Inmates have been told when to get up, when to eat, when to go to the bathroom, when to recreate. Their decision-making muscles atrophy."
For some reason this made me think of my mission. If you know me you know that I LOVED my time as a missionary with all my heart and soul. But there is that element also of having everything planned out for you. We had to memorize what to say, had a time appointed for everything, and had to okay everything with leaders, even if those leaders were 19 year olds. I can remember after coming home wishing my mission president would still make me report to him so I was accountable to someone and had some guidance. Sometimes it's nice to know what you're supposed to be doing, exactly when you're supposed to be doing it. And to have someone you respect tell you you're doing a good job.
But life isn't like that. At least not always. There are so many decisions to make it can cause tons of stress. All I can say is that it takes major exercising of those decision-making muscles. But is that a bad thing? The more I realize I don't know WHAT to do, the more I rely on prayer and the feelings I feel in the spirit.
In the Book of Mormon, Ammon and the son's of Mosiah felt led by the Spirit, and decided to be missionaries to the Lamanites who HATED them and would kill any Nephite they saw. They relied on the Spirit to direct them, and went without purse or script. They suffered greatly. Yet there was an amazing conversion. I love that.
Now, thankfully, missionaries don't memorize the discussions, they just study the gospel and teach as led by the Spirit. Much better. More like those ancient missionaries.
I like using my intuition rather than just obeying. I like having room to come up with my own creative ideas. I like to study things out and pray about them, before I just submit blindly.
I don't even like that when I go visiting teaching, they give me a topic. Yep, I'm a rebel.