Saturday, December 27, 2014

Femininity and Modesty

One of the things on my mind that has not left me alone for over a year has been modesty, femininity, and how I dress. I’ve been taught modest dress my whole life but never has it reached my heart until now. 


I've dressed modestly perhaps out of fear of disappointing people or sending the wrong message or just because I like the modest look, when it truly should have been a matter of the heart.   I know that it wasn't, because back when I was in my 20's I'd go out salsa dancing to clubs by UC Davis with my dance partner, and I'd wear the appropriate (but inappropriate) apparel, and I loved it because I felt really beautiful and free.
http://www.confessionsofateenagebride.com/2014/06/modest-is-not-hottest.html

Yes, I was showing too much, but immodesty is far more than that in my opinion.  It's an attitude as well; a you-go-girl, if-you-got-it-flaunt-it attitude, rather than reverence and gratitude for the body God has given us stewardship over.   Anyway we may dress or act that is meant to grab attention: tight clothes, baggy clothes, all black attire, bright makeup, name brands, loud hair, body piercings/tats, super high or flashy heels, words on clothes, etc.  These are distractions and there are too many to mention, and new ones everyday like the "smart" glasses or earholes.  Each is, in it's own way immodest, and reflects some message the wearer wants to conveyEach draws attention away from the person, their soul, their spirit, their countenance, to focus on that message.  

My Journey
I grew up only wearing dresses when required unless you count a few short skirts.  My everyday attire was mostly shorts, t-shirts and jeans though, a lot like my husband!  Leaving to serve as a missionary in Chile for 18 months I thought I would die wearing dresses or skirts everyday.  I made it through just fine, but returned to pants immediately.  They are so much more flattering on me and easier to wear!

While I was busy dressing down, strangely, I convinced Pat to start dressing up for work, since I figured we could get past the teenager look at this point in life.  He looks really nice nowadays, but I never thought to do anything for myself.   After all- I’m mostly home right? I’ve been content to dress up on Sundays and call it good.  My kids can be reminded once a week that I'm a beautiful mama, and that's good enough for me.  But I stumbled upon several blogs by accident a couple summers ago while researching stuff for Trek.  I know it wasn't be accident and have been really thankful for what I've learned.

"Modesty is an appendage to femininity and femininity to Godliness”- Caroline at Modest Mom blog.

What I have learned from these mothers blogs has made me grateful to be a daughter, a daughter of God in a way I've never felt before.  I feel like the least I can do is show that gratitude in how I dress. I want my countenance speak of God and his love and my Savior, because people are looking for truth- many of them children who have never been taught about God at all.  I want to be an example like the women who have been examples to me, because maybe someone can come to Christ through me.  

I have always felt that if I hadn't been born in the church, I would have found it eventually.  I would have been drawn to the light, to those women I admire, to the missionaries, to the plan.  I know there are others out there like me.  But how can they find the truth if we don't stand out at all?  I want to be different with the peace the gospel brings.  I have made covenants with Him and I want my dress to reflect that. I want to look so Christlike that children are drawn to me; children that need help.  Or mothers that want a refuge for their families from the storm...
  
From a 2015 conference talk by Elder Nelson, A Plea to My Sisters...
"Thirty-six years ago, in 1979, President Spencer W. Kimball made a profound prophecy about the impact that covenant-keeping women would have on the future of the Lord’s Church. He prophesied: “Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days will come because many of the good women of the world … will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different—in happy ways—from the women of the world.”5
My dear sisters, you who are our vital associates during this winding-up scene, the day that President Kimball foresaw is today. You are the women he foresaw! Your virtue, light, love, knowledge, courage, character, faith, and righteous lives will draw good women of the world, along with their families, to the Church in unprecedented numbers!6
We, your brethren, need your strength, your conversion, your conviction, your ability to lead, your wisdom, and your voices. The kingdom of God is not and cannot be complete without women who make sacred covenants and then keep them, women who can speak with the power and authority of God!7"

So over some months I felt like I was having an extreme makeover. I was kind of worried about how selfish that seems to be because I really was thinking of my looks a lot, but I kind of feel like I’m in a how-to-dress boot camp and that it needed to happen years ago. I’m excited to have a daughter to do this with someday. 

 

I decided to experiment with more skirts and dresses, or at least if I am wearing pants, to wear a tunic type top that covers the butt and crotch area and looks more feminine.   Before anyone starts getting upset, please let me say that how a woman dresses is extremely personal because she knows what she looks well in, or at least how she feels comfortable, and the same article of clothing can be both modest and immodest depending on body types.  Also not everyone is convicted simultaneously to act similarly. This was my experiment.  

Here's another reasoning for covering private areas from a blogger, Erika Shupe : (for the whole post read here: http://www.largefamiliesonpurpose.com/2011/02/modest-dress-heart-of-issue-surrounding.html#more )

Advertising agencies quickly prepared marketing research to find out the reaction of men to a woman wearing pants.  Do you know what they found?  Using newly developed technology, they tracked the path that a man’s eyes take when looking at a woman in pants.  They found that when a man looked at a woman in pants form the back, he looked directly at her bottom.  When he looked at a woman wearing pants from the front, advertisers found that his eyes dropped directly to a woman’s most private and intimate area.  Not her face!  Not her chest! (DWD, p. 49)”


And when we’re talking about wearing dresses and skirts I mean long ones, not mini ones.   When women wear slacks, short dresses or skirts, or ones with a long slit, men’s eyes follow the lines he sees right up her legs and complete the picture in their imagination.  (Women’s eyes do the same thing, but since women don’t have the same type of temptation their imaginations don’t complete the picture like men’s do.)

And yet,

“…when a woman dresses with dignity, men tell me that this appeals to their chivalrous nature.  Her femininity helps them to elevate their thoughts (not to mention their eyes).  It allows them to uphold a woman’s honor, to respect truth and beauty, and to grow in their role as a ‘gallant knight’ (DWD, p.14).”

 I have started to believe the the traditional dress of the Indians and Muslims have it right!  



I have been looking for longer tunic shirts, as a matter of fact, because then I don't have to worry about bending over either, and I've gone through my closet and gotten rid of all those shirts with plunging, or wide open necks.  I am happy to switch to crew necks since I’m tired of fighting with my necklines when I play with the kids or to pick something up.  Since I have no waist anymore, some skirts I've tried make me look dumpy and frumpy and in my opinion, much worse than a clean pair of jeans and a nice top.  Plus, unless your skirt is long and flowy, you cannot play with children on the floor, which is half my day!

Honestly, it’s nice shopping with a purpose for the first time. I’ve been learning about colors and seasons http://beautyandbedlam.com/figuring-out-the-best-colors-for-your-skin-tone/ and experimenting with hairstyles since I usually just leave my hair down. 

I am really trying to figure out how to dress nice and put colors together and that is a huge thing for me, since I usually just do a $5 shirt from Walmart and wear a lot of black. 


I want to learn how to make my own skirts like this young girl is so good at! She is awesome!  http://freshmodesty.blogspot.com/.  I wish someone lived near me that had gobs of time to teach me how to sew!  But this is something I have been passionate about lately and Heavenly Father has really helped me to get started despite my lack of sewing skills.

I started visiting thrift stores looking for skirts and found a lot of great ones! And shoes, and tops!

 

 

Then I needed to supplement with a few new items which worked out perfectly since it had been a long time and I really needed new clothing anyway. I had just worn holes in my jeans and it would have been lame to go out shopping, and then a month later realize I want to dress differently. I thought it was neat how it all came together at the exact right time and how I found such good deals.






FYI- I did not have luck at traditional stores. Target- a bit. Marshalls, Burlington, Ross, had racks and racks of sleeveless, see through, low-cut, or otherwise impossible clothing.  Dress Barn was a bit better, but I didn’t find anything. I think it might be just that I’m older and the styles of today make me cringe. A lot of the colors and patterns just look like someone threw up all over it, and I guess I sort of prefer dressing conservatively. Go figure. 

So I over the next year, I have turned to the internet when I need something.  Here are the best sites I have found and love!
*********************************************************************

www.softsurroundings.com I love this style!  This is mostly all modest, but a bit too expensive.  Still I can dream.  Love their tunic tops and skirts.

www.blair.com Several modest sites in one.

sorella bella Missionary clothes website.  This isn't your mother's sister missionary attire.  (Or mine).

http://www.mikarose.com/ Reinventing modesty

Baby 'O' Basic modest skirts all wardrobes need.

beautifulonemodest.com Not much selection but darling.

www.modcloth.com Know what your looking for otherwise it's overwhelming.  Cute stuff.

www.shabbyapple.com Cute.

www.zappos.com Same as ModCloth.  Can be overwhelming, but huge selection.

www.womanwithin.com  lots of tunics shirts.  Made for larger women so order at least a size smaller than your normal size.

Then the regulars like Target, Kohl's, Macy's, Lands End, LLBean, etc.

***********************************************************************
Jamie Sullivan's modest wedding dress from A Walk to Remember

Why Femininity:
I’ll tell you right now, most of this post is not my words or thoughts, but those of the following ladies.  If you have time to visit them, you will not be disappointed (unless the links have changed!).  I have tried to give good links and condense some of their thoughts for this post, but it is not where near as well done as theirs. 
I will try to source them appropriately throughout this post. 

http://www.largefamiliesonpurpose.com/ Her comments are in green. Click on Modest Dress under her topics and read the handful of posts there.  She is very organized and very good at explaining.
http://www.themodestmomblog.com/category/modesty/ Her comments are in pink.  She also has a Modesty topic you can click on and she is the one who really gave me the heart for this, however it could take 3 hrs to get through all her posts.  Still it's wonderful.
http://www.raisingarrows.net/she-wears-skirts-series/ Her comments are in orange.  She did a special feature with Caroline (above) at Modest Mom Blog called She Wears Skirts Series.  You can click on that and read through the posts.


 “If more females would be ladies, more males would be gentlemen.” 

“God did not accidentally create me to be a woman.”

"Your dress should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to show you’re a lady."
 
"There are 2 different types of femininity. There is the sexual feminine, who dresses in extremely tight, low cut, revealing tops, tight jeans which hug every curve of her body, make-up heavily applied and noticeable, and an extremely fashionable hairstyle. No one can deny she is a female, the clothes she wears make it obvious for everyone to see. My heart goes out to ladies who don’t know any better than to dress this way- especially young girls who don this attire to mimic the latest movie star, or worse yet- their mother.

“I don’t want to be legalistic… to throw in all my friends faces and expect them to exemplify modesty in the same way in their own lives. Rather I seek to most importantly show my husband and my children a modest wife and mama at home and teach my children clear gender lines, as those I hold dear to my heart have blurred the lines, thus wrecking their lives in the process.” 

“…one of the main reasons I wear skirts is to appear feminine… I feel passionately about being a woman in a world where gender lines continue to be blurred, and in many instances are completely non-existant.” 

“When I think about it, perhaps this is the least I can to do convey to the world that I am a daughter of God” 

 “As a mother guiding a young lady into womanhood, it is critically important that she gently teaches her daughter the importance of dressing in feminine, modest attire, and how to use accessories, jewelry, and makeup in a way that will not overpower her and draw unnecessary attention to herself. The worlds guidelines of what is appropriate for young ladies to wear can be very corrupt. Don’t misunderstand me- having your daughter dress modestly does not mean that you will raise a perfect child whose heart is set on the Lord. It’s just a small piece of the puzzle, way down towards the end of the puzzle. It can be a great blessing to a young lady to have a mother… teach… and show by example what a feminine woman looks like. It will not look the same for every family, but the BASIC principles of femininity and modesty remain and must be passed on. This is not old fashioned ladies, this is wisdom.” 

Sloppy dress and what we can do about it: http://www.themodestmomblog.com/?s=sloppy

"If we look sloppy and ill put together and everyone knows that we are followers of Christ, when people think of Christian they will think “sloppy”. Take fashion into account, but don’t be a slave to it."

Are your straps showing? http://www.themodestmomblog.com/?s=straps

“Wearing skirts can be an act of love to our brothers in Christ. While men are ultimately responsible for their thoughts, as sisters in Christ we should be willing to aid them in this. A skin tight shirt, or short skirt and shorts will be a stumbling block for some men, and honestly, why wouldn’t it? God designed men to desire women."

The Duggars,19 kids and Counting, are an example of this dedication to modesty and femininity. http://duggarfamily.com/ 
I am so grateful to all these inspiring folks!

I always thought being raised as a member of my church that we followed the strictest rules out of anyone; at least it always seemed like that. But since I’ve homeschooled using the Mennonites or Anabaptists curriculum (Rod and Staff) and met them at homeschool conferences, I realize we are actually fitting into the world pretty normal compared to them!  That makes me a bit sad.  They wear head coverings and there is a distinct dress they are required to wear be they men or women, boys or girls. Sometimes I just wanted to hug them for being distinctly different, and I can’t explain why.  Not that I want to be them, but I think it's neat.


I think that people of God are so similar ultimately. We may have different religions or doctrine, or be recently coming to know God, but he eventually leads us to the same place.

This is a good article about the Pope and how modesty is an attitude of humility and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior.
http://www.the-exponent.com/un-sexymodest-or-what-a-pope-can-teach-us-about-modesty/ 

I like Caroline's story at Modest Mom blog about how when her mom became convicted that they needed to dress modestly, they did not have money to buy clothing and she could barely sew and so she only knew one pattern: a simple jumper dress.  The jumpers were not flattering, or what they would have chosen to wear, but it was what they had, and they would rather wear that than dress immodestly.  Then when she started attending a Bible study group at college, she really stood out, and her future husband thought she was just plain weird.  All the other girls wore jeans and t-shirts and dressed modern.  A quote from her husband:

"As I got to know her, everything about her said, 'I am a woman, made in the image of God, and if you were a true man of God, you would treat me with all the dignity and honor, according to the rights and privileges afforded me by my Creator'.” 

“A modest woman is right in her relationship with God. She is focused on living for him and not all about living for the latest fashion statement, or for a compliment on how she looks. A modest woman is humble in her spirit. She is not brazen or forward in her actions. She does not seek the attention of men. She does not strive to be the loudest person in the room (nor does she make it her goal to be the quietest)." 
 

LargeFamiliesOnPurpose- Modest feminine bathing suits.
There are many different levels of modest swimwear. 

Link for modest swimwear sites: http://www.themodestmomblog.com/2010/06/modest-swimsuits-and-swimwear/  At girls camp swimwear can be a touchy subject.  Someone in our stake told me a story about a neighboring Stake President who had a great site for girls camp with a terrific pool that our Stake was a bit jealous of.  When it was brought up though, he said essentially that the pool was a curse.  Not only do they have to go back and forth with the girls on modest swim wear, but with their mothers who get offended.  Frankly I've always though it was ridiculous that we have to wear skirts to our knee, but then when we swim with the young men would could go out in our underwear!!!  That is what a swimsuit is.  It's just underwear that is a little more water friendly.  Why is that okay as long as it's a one piece?    


Why do we let them dress like that?
 http://www.themodestmomblog.com/?s=why%20do%20we%20let%20them


Some scripture references I've been reading.  The scriptures consistently point our focus back to our heart. Femininity is not weakness.  Look at Esther and the other women on the scriptures!
Romans 12:1-3, Colossians 3:2 Don’t become to preoccupied with dress. 1 corintians 3:16 ye are a temple of God… spirit of God dwelleth in you. Gen 1:26, Gen 9:6, Moses 6:9- God made us in his image Romans 12- Present our bodies as a living sacrifice 1 Corinth 3:16&17- Know ye not that ye are a temple of God? 1 Corinth 6:20 For ye are bought with a price- therefore glorify God in your body 2 Corinth 6:16 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate Mosiah 2:37 Lord dwelleth not in unholy temples Deut 22:5 Woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man 1 Cor 6:9 Body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. 

I am happy too share some of what I've been thinking about for much of 2013 and 2014.  It has changed my life similarly to how eating well will change your life.  When you think about who you want to be, and then make a point to do things on purpose to honor God, it is true happiness to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.


Mother Theresa: If you judge people, you have no time to love them.  I know that modesty means different things to different people and I would not impose or judge others since we are all raised under such different circumstances and have such different experiences.  So again, people, peace.  Sometimes my clothes don't work out so don't judge me if I don't dress how I'd prefer.  When you're overweight like me, you think less of what you'd like to wear, and more just trying to wear anything that doesn't look too awful

Caroline at the Modest Mom blog explains my feelings better than I ever could here about this:
http://www.themodestmomblog.com/?s=standards%20with%20charity

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Merry Christmas!


Some friends and our families got together and had a super fun night.  It was an awesome Christmas party, but the gifts need to improve.  I came home with a used hair-cutting kit, and 2 three year old fruit cakes.  The beauty of the white elephant.  Of course we gave someone a roll of toilet paper, and pickled beets.  Who do you think faired better?

Nothing could beat the mission elephant gift exchange.  We were so poor and I got a broken watch that had the face removed and in it's place a paper that said, "Bap Time".  It was always time to baptize!  We all laughed so hard at each and every gift and had the best time!

Friday, December 19, 2014

Christmas Concert

Dallas 6th grade, Sam 5th grade, 2014 Christmas Concert at the Moriarty PAC center.
Charles learning to smile for the camera.

It was a fun night.  Ms. Baccadutre is the most amazing music director I've ever seen!!!


Some really fun selections, some familiar, and some really hard.  It was amazing how she got the kids to learn all the parts.  Earlier in the day there was the concert for K-4th grade.  This was the 5th-12th concert.  The music was simply brilliant.


Sam on the end standing up for this 5th grade song.  Dallas is behind him, but you can't see him.

Now we are all on break and so happy!  I even finished my classes!

Perhaps the best thing...

...about Pat visiting his family is that he brought home some of his dad's rocky road candy!

Fun in the snow!

Evan, Leia and I've been making bracelets for fun.


Is there any greater blessing than being with the ones you love?

I don't know if you can see the little yellow pieces of paper taped to the floor.  It has something to do with a scavenger hunt for Sam's missing tooth.  He lost it at school, brought it home and then lost it over and over again.  Evan must have found it and is leading Sam on a hunt to get it back.


A dear hearted friend and her family gave Leia this practically new doll house.  She was so ecstatic she was hyperventilating!  She just kept crying, "Mom!  I love this so much!" in her high squeaky voice. 

Anonymous is doing the 12 days of Christmas on us too!  Their gifts have been so cute and such a blessing.  For example, when we came home from a late concert at the school, instead of french hens, there was a loaf of french bread, which everyone eagerly ate up since the kids were hungry!  It is so thoughtful, and it's not easy to doorbell ditch us!  Our road is an awful mess, and if you don't want your car to be seen (we've never seen their car) you have to walk like 1/4 mile, half of that being our driveway and road where we can see you.  Do they dart from tree to tree?!?  How do they do it?!

One reason I kept putting off going to the hospital was the IV's.  I've had more IV's than I can count and I hate them.  Four tries this time to get it, and the bruises from the failed ones are huge and painful!!!


In other news, we continue to make our yearly family books.  We have many (some not pictured) and the kids love reading them on Sundays, as well as the books from Grandma Dixie and Grandma Mary.

We were happy to hear Grandma Dixie finished her book and when Pat was visiting his family last weekend she gave him her book to add to our collection.  It is my goal to do books like these for my extended family.  

Monday, December 15, 2014

Water Nation Birthday-updated

In Avatar- The Last Airbender- the order of the elements is Air, Water, Earth and Fire.  Last year Dallas had an Airbender party, so this year was a Waterbender party.  (As in, they can bend the element of water).


So we found a fun pool/water park that was indoor since it's freezing here!  Dallas invited Larry and Micah and we drove an hour to the park on the other side of Albuquerque in Rio Rancho.  They had a super fun time and the rest of my kids did too.  Pat said, regarding Dallas's party, "I would have never thought of a water park", because when it's this cold you just don't think water.  But since I had a theme for his birthday it made it super fun.  I love themes.  Once you have a theme, you can have tons of ideas!
Leia was terrified at first too.  It's really her first time in a pool, so Pat had to carry her around like this to get her happy.
So they dunked each other, played water basketball, did the diving boards, did the slides every which way, and just had a great time for about 3 hours.  This is one of three pools that were all side by side.

Charles was terrified of the noise and water so he just stayed on my shoulder, clinging to me like a koala.  I didn't even bring a swimsuit so that worked out perfectly.  After the water park we took the kids to pizza and then I drove my car of kids home, and Pat drove his car of the birthday kids for ice-cream and then home. 
Several days later we had our family party.  I made Dallas an ice-cream cake with the water tribe symbol. 
The inside of the cake.  He loves mint chocolate chip!  I forgot to get a good picture of the inside, and this was the last bit of the last piece of cake that I got just in time!  It was so good.  The blue is just vanilla ice-cream dyed blue.

 He already went to his first dance.  I can't believe it!  Twelve years old, and first youth dance all in the same week. Crazy!   He's not the best dancer, and whether he was awkward or not, I don't know, but he doesn't care and gets out there anyway and even asked girls to dance that were older than himself!  I don't know why I was worried about him.  We go to school dances and dance at home all the time.  We even have dance contests, and un-talent dance contests for fun.  Pat and I are great at those.

I went to Dallas's first Court of Honor for Scouts where he received his 2nd and 1st Class.  He has worked really hard with his dad on those things and we are very happy for him!

Dallas is a really special person.  He has deja vu a lot and dreams about the future.  It reminds me of his blessing where he was told the veil would be very thin for him.  We are so glad to have a child babysitting age.  He is really responsible, so this is going to open up a whole new world for us.  But don't worry!  We pay him!  (Less than a real babysitter, but still a great deal for all of us).

There's a lot bigger more important things than his birthday theme though.  Namely, the Dallas received the Aaronic Priesthood.  (Named after Aaron, Moses' brother).  It is the preparatory priesthood, to one day receive the Melchizedek Priesthood.  Priesthood power is the authority to act in the name of God on this earth in so far as we are doing his will.  It has been passed down from the fathers, Father Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Abraham received it from his father, but his father had fallen into idolatry and chosen to do wickedly.  Abraham departed from this and chose to seek after the wisdom of the fathers, beginning with Adam on down, and to follow the one true God in righteousness.   He chose to pay his tithing to Melchizedek for whom the higher priesthood was named, but this priesthood truly belongs to God and his son Jesus Christ.  Dallas's first duties in the priesthood are that he passed the Sacrament for the first time yesterday, helping all at church to review their lives and renew their covenants at baptism.  It is a special time for us all and a very important birthday.

Miscarriage December 2014


I had an accident this weekend, and had to have help of police and paramedics, etc.  I was having a miscarriage and passed out on the kitchen floor.  Dallas saved me from further injury by catching me after I passed out before I hit my head.  There was blood everywhere (I was hemorrhaging from a bad miscarriage), and the police cleaned up as best they could, and then my amazing friends Nichole and Stacey came and cleaned my entire house, including the rest of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre scene.  But Dallas went in my bathroom and cleaned even after them because "they missed some blood".  What 12 year old boy does that?

He was very brave, and so was Sam who was the one who called 911.  I had just woken them up, because I knew I was in trouble and I was trying to figure out who to call to take me to the hospital.  The next thing I knew someone was screaming and I was being beaten.  It felt like someone hit me on the backside with a baseball bat.  I realized it was me screaming when I woke up on the hard tile floor in great pain from hitting it so hard. 

D and S were so caring and loving of their Mom and their younger siblings.  It must have been a traumatic experience for them.  I told them later that they did the exact right thing, remaining calm, and that this was a pregnancy loss so that they wouldn't think I just randomly did things like this for no reason.  Pat was out of town, and I was so relieved to have such wonderful responsible boys.

Charles got woken up by all the loud police talking and Sam laid with him in my bed to calm him while a kind policeman talked to them.  They kept asking if I wanted them to call my husband, but I didn't think a call from the Sheriff at 4am would be a good idea.  I told them where Pat was (saying goodbye to his brother who is going on a mission to Russia), and they later asked Sam if we were Mormons.  He said yes.  The police said, "I knew you were mormon because only mormons go to far away places."  ?  I don't think that's true, but it was neat that he was talking to Sam so much.  We'll go visit all these folks when I'm better to thank them.  Kevin in the ambulance was great to talk to also.  He had to deal with me freaking out because I felt like I was... I don't know... it was scary.  I was ripping the belts off and blankets off and thought I would not make it to the hospital.  For a few moments there was a desperate painful feeling I've never felt before, like I was dying.  I knew I wasn't going to make it.  But then suddenly, something came over me and I felt fine and was completely normal and fine after that for the whole ride down and the entire stay at the ER.  The bleeding stopped almost completely and they discharged me a few hours later after finding everything was stable.  I can't help but wonder if that was someone's prayer.

Evan and Leia, who slept through all the uniforms and flashing lights, think we are just making this all up:)  

The church family and friends I have here are the highest quality of people on the earth.  They don't judge me (or my messy house), and just love and serve without any hesitation.  I knew I could call any number of people at 4am and they would be there but Stacey has been through a lot with me with my surgeries last year, and Nichole is my new neighbor who is wonderful and couldn't help but see all the commotion, so what a blessing to have them!  (Though I did have to endure a lot of chastising for not calling them and an ambulance 3 hours earlier when I should have.) I just kept thinking it would stop soon, and by the time I started googling "how much blood is too much" I should have just known.  I could soak a bath towel in 5 minutes.  There was hardly anything left in the house to put between my legs.  I used all the paper towels, pads, toilet paper...  I just kept thinking, "I was only 9 weeks along.  There can't be that much.  This will stop soon...".

When they helped me up off the floor there were huge clots like steaks where I'd been and the police just picked them up without freaking out.  Bless them.  The didn't have to do any of that.

In the end I wasn't going to tell Pat at all, because he had such a limited amount of time with his family (he flew in to Ca Friday night and had to leave Sunday afternoon) that I didn't want him to worry about anything else but just enjoy his trip.  My friends called him though without knowing my plan, and probably in spite of it would have called anyway.  Imagine my surprise when I came through the doors of the ER only to be handed a note that said, "Call your husband at this number..."

Christmas Traditions

Today we went to two churches, ours and a friends.  Since it was Christmas Sunday, everyone talked of the Christmas story, and we were asked twice what our Christmas traditions were.  I decided to write them down, because these are the things that really make Christmas CHRISTMAS to us.

Music- all sorts, Handel's Messiah, my music folder, bells, Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Mary did you know?, John Denver with the Muppets Christmas, Beach Boys, Manheim Steamroller, everything...

Watch Mr. Kruger's Christmas

Watch Nora's Christmas

Watch The Christmas Box - (The first gift of Christmas was a child.  "Andrea!")

Read Lauralei's book on December 19th (the day she was born 2001). Our first baby.

Read scriptures and a stories from our Christmas book

Read "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. Watch the 1970 version with Albert Finney or the Muppets version.

Sing or Listen to Handel's Messiah.

Read "The Hiding Place" by Ten Boom

Read "A Christmas Dress for Ellen" by Thomas S. Monson

Read "Great Joy" by Kate DiCamillo

Anonymously give to others

Send Christmas cards with family photos if possible.  I would have quit this long ago, but I think some people really need these cards, or just to have something tangible that says someone was thinking about them.

On Christmas Eve, open one gift Christmas Eve which is new pajamas (if possible)! Read the Christmas story from scriptures.

Make a big Christmas morning breakfast that's not sweet!

Share the gospel and gifts with friends and neighbors, teachers, police, firemen, doctors, etc.

Christmas baking and crafts if possible.

Watch the first Little House on the Praire movie.  It has a Christmas scene in it where they aren't going to have any presents out alone on the prairie. Caroline reminds Charles that "it's Christ's birthday, not ours", so it doesn't matter.  In the end, they do receive presents from their neighbor who braves a blizzard to bring them some very simple and happy things.  I adore this.

Share the gift of music if possible

Thanksgiving type dinner, and Enchiladas, Posole, or Tamales

Ward Christmas party, and school musical performances.  Go see a play if possible or a performance like the Nutcracker.





Sunday, December 14, 2014

Ward Christmas Party 2014

Our ward decided to have breakfast for Christmas dinner. I thought that might work, and might not depending!  It turned out really well in the end.  I think maybe they think it's more predictable than telling everyone to bring enchiladas, since enchilada recipes can be so different.  I have like 20 myself. Some good, some not so good.  It's a quest I've been on for years.  But I digress...



So some families brought hams sliced and ready to go (most of this was paid for by the ward), some fruit salad, some muffins from Costco, and some (like us) a potato and egg casserole.

I've made a lot of breakfast casseroles and usually I decide they aren't that great.  But it's not like you can have fresh scrambled eggs, or fried, or omelets at a ward party!  So we followed the recipe we were given.

It started with potatoes baked, then diced and fried.  They tasted so good!
Then top with cheese.  Then pour over everything the 18 eggs that have been whisked up and bake.  That's where everything went downhill, I think. 
We got to the party, and it was so packed we had to sit at different tables, and it was served family style so my casserole went to another different table.  After everyone was done, I hunted down my casserole with help since they all looked the same, because I wanted to taste is and see if it was worth making again.  Nope!  It just looked disgusting and tasted gross which is weird because the potatoes were so good and eggs and cheese are all good!
These are the directions we were given, and whoever made the casserole at the table I sat at didn't follow it.  Their casserole was better than mine.  Still- it's not like it tasted bad.  It just wasn't fabulous. 
But the party was.  They had different activities that people could do after dinner if they wanted to and served us all cookies and treats and it was a good time!
The clean up.  Evan on a mission.
Larry welcoming us to the North Pole.
Pictures on the train.  I could not get a cute one because the kids were all being so silly.  Those aren't all my kids, but there's my little Leia!
We have a great church family to put all this together for us.